Talking to women at the gym

“What a creep. He asked if I needed a spot for my squats”

So you want to be friends with, or more-than-friends with, a woman at your gym. However, being a male, you have the choice of either never approaching her, or risking being labelled as the gym creep or a**hole forever.

You may watch a lift, you may not watch her listening to music between sets

So today we ask the age old question:

“How does one engage in conversation with a female at the gym?”

I have compiled a comprehensive list of things that will surely get you a one way ticket to the “stay away from that guy” zone.



Ask if she needs a spot, unless you see her actively asking around

Mansplain. Especially without having ever spoken to her about her experience/methods/goals

Assume she is single because she lifts alone.

Ask her if she is working on her summer body

Ask her when her bulk is ending or when she will start cutting

Silently stare at her between sets or warm up

Take the dumbbell beside her assuming it’s too heavy

Refer to any part of her as “toned and tight.” *vomits*

Say “that’s a lot of weight for a little girl” or “I have never seen a blonde powerlifter before” *literally wtf*

Ask if her boyfriend is okay with her being so muscular

Ask her how many more sets she has left even though she just started benching and the 200 pound dude beside her will probably finish sooner

“Can I take the 45s, you won’t need them right?”


Tell her the lift looked strong, compliment the form etc

Compliment her discipline

Tell her she’s got nicer quads than you, because she probably does

Ask her where she bought her bag, shoes, socks, belt, liquid chalk etc

Congratulate her on an achievement

Offer her food, candy, baked goods (extra points)

Give constructive advice framed in a positive way on topics you are qualified through experience to speak about:

Ex. “your deadlift looked really good but would you mind if I offer a cue that helped me for pulling conventional for high reps” – someone with a strong conventional pull

Screen Shot 2018-08-18 at 6.24.30 PM
No my boyfriend is not a juice monkey who taught me how to lift.

Summation: treat her like you would treat anyone else. Be respectful, and do not assume anything.

The gym should be a shared, positive space for everyone. And if she wants you to back off, back off.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Awesome tips. I’ve worked along side lots of girls who could kick most gym bro’s asses.


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